if i were a wizard i would do literally nothing but summon falcons to spell out swear words in the sky over office buildings
i know like eight people who are going to college to be scientists of some kind and literally the only thing i want to talk to them about is like “can you invent like a new dog”
“like there used to be just one kind of dog but then more happened can you invent a kind of dog”
“can you invent like a horse dog”
Anonymous
one time when i was 5 i tried to prank call someone and i asked if their refrigerator was running and they said no and i got scared and threw the phone
i do this thing sometimes where i’ll try and show up people who write on bathroom stall walls by drawing much better quality dicks next to their shitty dicks but literally once in like 2008 the next time i went to that bathroom someone way better had also drawn a dick next to my dick and i guess that’s how that feels
one time my friend was dangerously high and kept trying to talk about pokemon with me and he started crying because he couldnt think of magmars name
he just kept saying “butt duck”
also while i was at that walmart i got the most colossal nosebleed i’ve ever had in my life and i bled all over the floor and no one even tried to step over it
like they saw it they just did not step over it
ah yes
my shoe was running low on blood
look, the Blood Park was closed down a while back and all I’m saying is it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to frolic in blood communally, you know? It doesn’t compare to the Blood Log Flume or the Blood Slide but I’ll take what I can get in this sick twisted upside down world where “A Water Park, but with Blood” is considered criminally negligent and dangerous.
